How To Look After Rias

Pain, pain, pain

2006-11-22T14:15:31Z

My good friend The Christmas Throat Ache is visiting at the moment, so I have quarantined myself to the confines of my slightly untidy bedroom. I am currently dressed as Pikachu, and I am sitting in my bed, enjoying the convinience of wireless internet access and marvelling at the wonder that is double glazing.

Double glazing is my friend. This morning I was totally unaware that there was an extremely unpleasant car crash just up the road in front of Proxy (which in now missing its roadside barrier). This evening I am totally unaware that it is cold outside. I haven't even turned my AC off yet. Mostly because I don't want to clean it.

Besieged by one of my least favourite illnesses after tooth and ear-ache, I have spent the last several hours re-watching the second series of the American Office. This productive use of my time will go unpunished, since tomorrow is a National Holiday in Japan, and I do not need to go to school. Japan has a ridiculous amount of random and seemingly unneccessary holidays. Coincidentally, it is also Thanksgiving tomorrow, which means I have to spent all morning making paper hats for everyone.

Obviously I am not American, and thus am largely unfamiliar with what Thanksgiving actually entails. Having spoken at length to my American counterparts, I have discerned that is in a festival that celebrates the rape and pillage of their great continent and the glorious culling of the American Indian people. In today's America, families and friends gather to eat as much food as is humanly possible, and then they drink until everyone is sick or dead.

Tomorrow, the American boys are waking up at 5.30am to do something called 'tail-gating'.

I have no idea how that is spelled. In England, tail-gating is when you drive dangerously close to the car in front of you to try and make it go faster. I do it on the motorway when some gaylord is doing 65 in the fast lane in his £500 POS and I want to do 110 up a hill, humming along with the beautiful purr of the petrol-guzzling BMW engine beneath my bonnet. (I will actually HUG and KISS my car when I get home.)

Tail-gating in America is where they (boys) wake up before sunrise on the day of a big sports match, and start drinking. They drink all morning, and all afternoon, then they watch the match, then they drink more and more until they all pass out.

I am looking forward to this spectacle.

After having a lovely lie-in, I am going to borrow someone's bike and go to the 100 Yen store, where I will buy lots of paper and glue for the hats. Originally, we were going to try and make Thanksgiving dinner on the BBQ, but it turns out we don't actually have a BBQ, or an oven, so everyone just has to cook their own dinner and give thanks for their free hats instead.

What else has happened worthy of note? Oh, because of the big earthquake in Hokkaido (which was practically in Russia and didn't affect us in the least), the University decided it was time they took us back to Toyota, so we could all have a turn in the earthquake simulator. At least this ought to be fun. Well, it will be fun if they don't warn us when the earthquake will happen. I will let you know after Saturday what is was actually like, but here is how I WANT it to be:

I want to be herded into a waiting room with a few other people, preferrably people I like. I want them to leave us in there chatting, drawing pictures or reading newspapers or something, while we wait for our turn. Then I want a BIG earthquake to happen without any warning whatsoever, with lots of screaming and blackouts and terrifying noises. I want at least one of my friends to wet themself. And someone has to fall over, even if it's me. That would be cool. >:D

I sent home some DVDs of my trip to Hiroshima. Despite what other people would have you believe, I was an EXCELLENT group leader. Apart from one or two small incidents, like accidentally getting on a ferry and leaving Anna behind. And I may have got a concussion from walking into a stone wall in a castle. It was very, very painful and extremely disorienting, and it didn't help that people kept asking me difficult questions. I geniunely forgot what day it was, and it hadn't been a very interesting castle, so I don't think it was fair they thought it odd of me to forget where I was.

I need the toilet now, then I'm going to bed.

Halloween, CSI and this is why I'm always tired.

2006-11-06T17:13:29Z

Ooh Aah!

Today started off very badly, with the Kanji shiken of Doom.

Then it got better, with such high points as discussing Poo Checks with Kayo and Tomi, being 'voted' group leader for the Hiroshima trip this weekend and talking to Chris.

Then it got HILARIOUS, upon the discovery of 'What Makes The Desert Beautiful'.

'What Makes The Desert Beautiful' is a page dedicated to CSI's Nick and Greg, and their pursuit to make babies. Together. I have literally spent the last few hours rolling round the floor of my room in fits of hysterical glee, thanks to such inspired videos as 'Milkshake'. Genius. Having spent earlier hours of the evening rediscovering Podd, I am in a very hyperactive mood now. Sadly it is nearly 2am, and I have nowhere to vent this frenzy. Nidhi listened to my insane cackling for a spell, before sensibly retreating to her room, and Scott wouldn't even unlock his door, despite bribes of cheese.

Well, I've calmed down a little now.

Braaaoooow.

I /wish/ I'd bothered to find the Image Composer discs before I left. I have nothing with which to create beautiful new icons of Nick and Greg.

In other news, since Lana ~~mangled~~ read my 'To Kill A Mockingbird' and returned it to me, I started to read it again. I had forgotten how much I absolutely adore it. It would be sensible now to go to bed and enjoy it some more, but I would much rather sit here and embark on some sort of deranged spree of internet abuse.

And it is only 40 days til I go home for Christmassssssssssss!!

On a serious note, I offer here my sincerest apologies to Karlie, who is having some difficulties on the going home front. :-( I, however, had resolutely decided long before I got here that I would be flying home for Christmas, and I am literally counting the days. I'm sure I've said it before - I'm not wishing my time here away or anything - but I'm not even lying when I say I'm already packing. I even chose an outfit, although this is subject to change.

OMG 40 DAYS.

To compound my hyperactivity, I am listening to Gina G. Had a mild outburst of Tourettes earlier in the corridor, which was most antisocial of me. Apologies to anyone I woke up. (Except Scott, who deserves pain.)

OOOOH I haven't even mentioned the Halloween Party yet!!

The Halloween party was on November 2nd. We started out in I House, which we decorated with pumpkins, skeletons, streamers and other random and festive crap. I was Pikachu (5000yen well spent!), Elliot was a pirate, Scott was a Japanese high school boy, Dominic was a high school girl, Dan and Patto were zombies, Nidhi wore a kimono, Katie was a slutty butterfly, Lana was an angel, Mel was Dead Trixie, Kayo was a Hawaiian, Chie was Chie, Anna was a maid, Joe was Wolverine, Rachael was Powerpuff Girl Bubbles and there were many other people I lack the energy to recall.

Making Dead Trixie's costume was awesome fun. I was in charge of burning holes in it, then we drove over the shirt with Patto's bike and attacked it with a knife and blood from Zombie Dan. I tried burning Dan's blazer, but it smelled horrible and they took my lighter away.

SO, we all mooned around in the genkan and everybody drank too much. When everyone in I House drinks too much, someone suggests we go to The Hill. The Hill is a Buddhist graveyard on top of a ridiculously steep hill behind the University. So, off we went to The Hill.

Elliot the RIDICULOUSLY inebriated pirate refused to put his shoes on, and forgot how to speak English, and was spilling the mug of beer he decided to bring with him instead of footwear all over me. It wasn't long after 10pm, but it's pitch black in Japan after 5pm, so it felt later. We finally made it up The Hill, where a bunch of people including Hello Kitty, a tall French transvestite and an Australian boy in a Cat Maid costume were already stumbling round in a stupor.

Elliot entertained the crowds, and I realised there was zombie blood all up Pikachu's left side. When Elliot started to fall over, somewhere around 11pm, I decided it was time to take him home. I noticed Scott lying very still on a table, and asked him if he wanted to come too. Scott nodded and tried to stand, but threw up violently all down Pikachu's leg instead.

Covered in blood and now sick, I dragged Scott to the girl's bathroom, where he was sick more. And here began the really fun part of the night. Thankfully Patto the Zombie was just as sober as Pikachu, and we eventually managed to make Scott stand up and leave the bathroom. We got him all the way down The Hill, only to be confronting by the Police.

The Police in Japan are a special breed of pig. The already had some gaijin-shaped humans in the back of their pig-mobile, and Patto and I didn't much fancy explaining to the super-fuzz what Pikachu and a Zombie were doing dragging a corpse down The Hill in the middle of the night. So we did what any sensible gaijin wandering round after dark without their alien registration cards would do - ran away.

We dragged Dead Scott all the way back up The Hill, past the castle, all the way behind University and back round to I House, stopping several times for Scott to heave in the bushes. The whole way home Patto and I were chatting inanely to keep Scott concious, and the whole time we were talking all we could hear from him was "Ehh... ehh... I feel sick... shhhh...".

The next afternoon (when we woke up) Scott declared he remembered very little of it, but never wanted to drink again.

Ahhh, what japes.

And that was the Halloween Party. Next on the list of Fun Things is the Hiroshima field trip, which begins at some obscene time in the morning on Friday. Apparently my duties as group leader involve making sure my group are awake in time, don't die at any point on the trip, and don't get lost. Fab! I'm super responsible. :D

Oopsy, gone 2am. Technically don't have to get up til late though. I have Language Lounge at lunchtime, then will dedicate the whole afternoon to revising for my big test on Wednesday. Hooray! I love tests! Ha ha haaa!!

Update on my unrequited love: nothing happening there. Have given up and am holding out for the new people arriving in March. There is a fair chance that at least ONE of the new people won't fall in love with one of my best friends instead of me. Having said that, there is also a fair chance that they'll all be mingers and I won't want anything to do with them. Ha. This is more likely.

Off to bed now. Soon.

Unko face

2006-09-18T15:21:14Z

Yesterday we went to Nagoya Aquarium. It was kind of like Seaworld, only Japanese. There was a really cute dolphin show - it wasn't all pyrotechnics and underwater divers like at Seaworld, but the trainers wore stripy polo shirts and made the dolphin catch hoops. Then a killer whale who's name was Kuu came out and splashed around a lot. This was cooler than Seaworld, because Kuu jumped WAY high out of the water to touch a ball with his nose. It was really cool. I say cool too much.

That was pretty much all we saw, because there was a little confusion about just how big the Aquarium was, and we missed a whole building. That's a shame, so later in the year I might force someone to go back with me. Rachel, probably. In the evening, Lana, Andy, Patto and I watched 'Collateral' in Andy's room. My obsession with the Korean nightclub song was re-ignited, and now I'm going mad trying to find I copy.

It's basically a remix of 'Ready Steady Go' by Paul Oakenfold, called 'Korean Style', and I wants it. I wants it bad.

Today has been pretty unproductive. Crawled out of bed at 1pm, then skulked in bedroom until Katie came to see if I was dead. We pretended to study, but really we watched Se7en videos and gossipped. - Two 'p's? Gossiped, gossipped. Hmm? Lana appeared in my room shortly thereafter, and I decided 4pm was late enough to get dressed. More time passed, then suddenly it was dinner.

I ate pork dumplings, noodles and sweetcorn. Sweetcorn is the easiest vegetable ever. You don't even need scissors to open the packet.

12 weeks til I come home for Christmas! God, that's exciting. Can't wait... I love it here, it's great, what an experience etc, but boy am I looking forward to walking/sprinting through that gate at Christmas. I'll probably wet myself on the plane from excitement. Of course, this talk is somewhat premature, but whatever.

Our first placement test is tomorrow. Goodie... I know nothing. Kayo keeps trying to reassure me that this isn't a problem, and I shouldn't be worried. Apparently there is no shame in being in the bottom set. Go bottom set! The bottom set will rule.

What else... Oh yes, Kayo tried to poison me with some filth she called 'Nattou'. Words cannot begin to describe the monstrosity that is Nattou. It is basically poisonous faeces. Next time she sticks a spoon in my face and says "Delicious! Nattou is sticky paradise!" I will run away. The smell... I still remember the smell...

Insults of the day: "Your poo smells worse than nattou", "Shitty face", "Mushroom-san is your boyfriend".

Mushroom-san... Ah, funny tale. Lana found a little plastic terrapin in the toilets at the Aquarium, and presented it to me as a gift. Since then, I have carried it round with me and used it as an instrument of Kayo torment. It is Kayo's new boyfriend, since her current one has no future. Kayo HATES it. She tried to call it 'Washroom' in honour of his birthplace, but I misheard (hence Mushroom), and just assumed she was being crazy and inane. So, Mushroom-san.

I need to go to bed now.

Yaaaay... placement tests...

I hate airports.

2006-09-16T09:10:29Z

So, today Elliot and I were supposed to go to the airport. He needed to collect his luggage, and I needed to change my flight dates. This sounds fairly simple.

What ACTUALLY happens is not simple. What actually happens is mindless and soul-destroying.

9.45am: Elliot and Mark knock on my door. Apparently Mark has not died from alcohol poisoning during the night, and wants to come with us. I give him paracetamol.

10.00am: Yamashita-san (very nice Japanese lady from NUFS) arrives at IH to help us with the buses and translation at the airport. We walk down the road to Aichi Gakuin University (nemesis Uni; large campus for the academically challenged). From here we catch a bus to Fujigaoka bus station. 240 yen

10.45am: The bus turns up. We get on it. I am dying of thirst, but the vending machines only have tea. Tea is filth. 0 yen

11.05am: Bus arrives at Fujigaoka. We disembark. There is a Mister Donut and a McDonalds, but I feel sick. Buy Calpis and some water instead. 260 yen

11.30am: The airport bus arrives. We get on it. 1400 yen

12.35pm: Bus arrives at Nagoya Centrair airport. For the duration of the journey, I felt close to death and nearly threw up several times. Suspect that I was poisoned last night, possibly by Scrotum and her vodka apple juice, or by Chie's birthday cake. I go to the toilet. 0 yen

12.45pm: Yamashita suggests we eat. I practically vomit at the suggestion, but the boys are ravenous, so they all eat bagels whilst I sit and ponder the origins of my crippling illness. 0 yen

1.00pm:We locate Information Desk. Yamashita asks where we collect luggage from. We are handed a dodgy map and wished good luck. Yamashita apologetically explains that the luggage is being held in the Cargo Area. The Cargo Area is about a mile away. By foot. So we all trudge to the Cargo Area, discovering a bus stop. We get on bus. Bus takes us LITERALLY 200 yards down the road. Everyone is irritated by this flagrant rip-off. 160 yen

1.25pm: Cargo Area. We arrive at a huge security gate, where we are ushered to one side and interrogated and asked to write our names down. After explaining what we're trying to do, the security guard gives us Visitor Passes, which we have to scan to open the doors. This is actually quite cool. 0 yen

1.35pm: The Cargo Area is HUGE. It stretches pretty much as far as you can see, parallel to a runway. It is basically a huge row of warehouses on one side, and Customs building on the other. We walk halfway down the longest road ever, being stared at by men in lorries, until we get to the Unaccompanied Baggage Claim Centre. Here Elliot is given a form, and told to take it to the convinience store in the building across the road. Here he must by 2050 yen worth of stamps, which he must then take with the form to Customs. (2050 yen for Elliot)

1.45pm: Customs building appears to be shut. We eventually find proper door. We are stared at more. Take the elevator to 3rd floor, and accidentally wake old man up who was sleeping in the smoking room. We are finally in Customs Office. Most of the staring takes place here. Mark sits down and hides behind a plant pot. Yamashita, Elliot and I sit down. We are helped by two customs officials, one of whom is SEXY. Like, ridiculously so. Don't generally find Japanese men attractive (they're too skinny), but I have made an exception. (Missed best friend Vicky at this point, who I could freely have discussed his sexiness with without being mocked.)

Sexy Man asks me when I came to Japan, and if I like Japanese food. I list random food nouns. Everyone ignores Elliot, who can't remember our address, and seems to be struggling with the seven forms he has been handed. Unsexy customs guy scrutinises his passport for several minutes. I flirt with Sexy Man some more. Eventually he is distracted by Elliot, who is struggling to list the contents of his suitcase.

2.50pm: Unfortunately my time with Sexy Man is over, and we leave the customs building. Elliot is slightly distraught by his interrogation and the general complexity of the whole situation, but I am in very good mood. Feel much better now, and no longer feel repulsed by food. Really want bagel.

3.00pm: We give completed forms back to Baggage Collection lady, who makes Elliot pay even more money and gives him a receipt. We take the receipt to the warehouse next door, and a little man scurries off to find the suitcase. He brings it back, totally wrapped in blue cling film. None of us can quite believe that we have gone to all this trouble to collect this TINY little thing. Elliot claims it is 25kg, but it looks more like 3kg.

3.05pm: Elliot and Mark are arguing about how horrible the day has been. I make polite conversation about families with Yamashita. All I can think about is bagels. We eventually walk all the way back to the centre of the airport and back to the information desk. Woman tells Yamashita that the Emirates desk isn't open on Saturdays, so I can't change my ticket. I REEL with fury and despair. Would slit wrists, but too hungry. To console me, I am bought a bagel. It is the nicest bagel I have ever had. Still annoyed though.

3.30pm: The airport bus arrives. It is full. I have to sit in the back row, where an old lady falls asleep on me. Figure the quickest way to pass time is to sleep through it, so promptly doze. 1400 yen

4.30pm: Bus arrives in Fujigaoka. We get straight on the Aichi Gakuin bus. 240 yen

4.50pm: Bus arrives at Aichi Gakuin. Yamashita-san goes to collect her bicycle. We say thank you a lot, since she has just wasted her entire Saturday helping stupid gaijin around the airport. We walk home.

5.00pm: Back at I House. Rachel asks where on earth we've been. T_T

Which brings us to now. I'm going to eat some noodles and phone home to relay this tale of disaster to my beloved family.

Watashi ga ichiban!

2006-09-14T08:00:09Z

We had our Entrance Ceremony this morning, followed by another 'Welcome Party'.

We were told a few days ago that the dress-code was 'semi-formal'. Peoples' interpretations of 'semi-formal' varied wildly from country to country. The Australians seemed confused by the notion, so all the girls wore summer dresses or slightly less revealing tops than is usual. Everybody from England dressed nicely - Elliot wore a very nice suit, and his friend Mark wore yet another Miami Vice ensemble. I wore my new Monsoon kimono-style top (more to come on this subject). The American men, however, seemed baffled. Most of them wore shirts and ties they'd stolen from their elderly and blind relatives.

I love Japanese people. I don't mean to come over all condescending or ethnocentric, but they're just! So! Cute!

CHIE: [strokes my sleeve] This is pretty.

YOKO: Cu-ree-bedge!

CHIE: Cu-ree-bedge... sexy! [points at herself] No boobs!

YOKO: Yes, boobs are sexy woman!

It was like something out of Azumanga Daioh. The girls really do covet large breasts.

The Ceremony - we all had to stand and bow when the President of NUFS spoke to us, and there was a lot of 'heartfelt welcoming'. Then we all had some free food, whereupon I discovered my complete and utter inaptitude with chopsticks. I am literally unable to utilise them. Hiromi had to scoop food onto my plate. T_T The President helped himself to some pizza, then sat down next to this poor Australian girl called Gyra, who was then unable to move for the rest of the aftenoon.

The best bit was the Club Showcase. Designed to give us an idea about the club we might want to join, a few representatives came to show us what they did. First was Cheerleading Club. It was AWESOME. They all ran in and cheered to a Japanese version of "Hey Mickey!", and they danced like crazy. Their tiny little outfits were great, and there was one really hilarious girl who gnashed her teeth insanely whilst cheering.

Then two boys from ESS (the English Speaking Society) came out and eloquently commanded that 'Britain people' were great, and should therfore come and join them. Kendo was the funniest. "We hit eachother. On the head." We now know that when people say "Oh, kendo, yes... an ancient Japanese martial art", that they are in fact lying. Kendo is hitting someone as hard as you possibly can on the head and screaming "YAAAAAAI YA!" as you do so. It was entertaining. Hiromi was frightened though, and now refuses to join any club that uses sticks.

We were treated to other tempting delights, and then the club members mingled with us. I was quickly surrounded by Hachi, Kooney, Masa and Kuri-chan. Despite his name, Kuri-chan was actually a rather large man. Masa wanted Matt and I to join the International Communication Club, and wrote my name in kanji for me. I was a little confused about the meaning - he wrote RIA EMI, which apparently is like "the beautiful Ria", but none of them could agree on how 'Ria' should be written.

Then Hachi (ESS) described in great detail his love of music. He has a pink mp3 player. I told him all the people I'd heard of, and he recommended some Japanese artists. His favourite music is by Nelly. Like, 'Country Grammar' Nelly. Interessant.

I didn't realise just how many French people there are with us. There are only 69 new International students here in Nagoya, and virtually all of them seem to speak French. They're all very nice, except one evil little man. I like French, so if I hear them talking, I like to interject with one of my seven French phrases. I did this today, and two of them were like "Ooh, French! Lovely!", and the evil little one goes "Meh, she doesn't speak French". In French. Sadly I don't know "fuck you, Frog", or I'd have said that. The others are all very nice though.

After the ceremony, I hung out with my new friends. Yoko is in the Japanese Circle, and I met her at Fujigaoka bus station. She described me to her friend Aoi as "the one with the huge pink suitcases". Aoi is tiny and doll-like. They are both /lovely/. Yoko fell on the floor laughing when I said "usotsukete". Apparently it is funny if gaijin say this. Yuko is the girl who helped me do my first lot of food shopping.

We talked for a while, then somehow I managed to tell them I would like to go to Bulldog. Bulldog is the name of a really cool little shop opposite the University. It sells Hello Kitty type things, some shoes, some bags, stationery, decorations and assorted cute little things. The whole time I thought how much Rebecca (my little sister) would absolutely love it in there. I nearly spent 4000 yen on a fluffy Hello Kitty suit Yoko found for me. I can't begin to describe it. It was kind of like an all-in-one pajama suit.

I ended up buying more hilarious Engrish writing paper, a biro with a cat playing the guitar, a pad of paper with clothed cats on the front, a really cute cat light-pull and tiny diamante letters (R-I-A) for decorating my phone. Which I haven't bought yet, but fully intend to accessorize cutely in manner of Yoko, who has completely encrusted hers in gems.

Now I'm eating Coco Pops. They are Kellogs, but for some reason, they smell and taste about ten times better than regular English Coco Pops. The smell when I opened the packet... God, that smelled good. I woke up with cravings for it, but my bowl was dirty. I had to eat two mugfuls of it instead. Mmm... I already want more. The boxes here are comparatively tiny though, so it's going to be an expensive addiction.

I suppose I should go and do something productive now.

Maybe I'll have another bowl of Coco Pops?

What does a gay horse eat?

2006-09-12T15:11:45Z

The only photo I have actually got around to putting up is one of the Baby (my little sister Rebecca). She is so cute and fluffy! Now she is staring at me from next to my laptop. Must put more up asap. I hope I remembered to pack the hilarious one of Rachel stuffing what looks like ten chocolate muffins into her mouth.

'Take On Me' started playing on iTunes, and when it gets to the really good bit near the end when it's just my sexy husband hammering away at his keyboard, I really missed Vicky. Vicky and I saw A-Ha twice, last time it was at the Docklands Motor Show, and they were so good... We recorded loads of songs with Vicky's phone, which we played later, only to discover they were virtually inaudible. Possibly because I was waving it around and miaowing at everyone.

So today was quite good. We all got on a bus to Nisshin City Hall to register as Aliens. Whilst there, we were entertained by middle-aged Japanese women and an incredibly friendly little man, who took about twenty photos of us, then gave us free pencils. It was funny. He kept saying he loved English people, and this irritating American guy I dislike looked really annoyed. (I don't know why I don't like this guy, but everything about him makes me want to lash out at his face with something. Like my fist. Or a plank of wood.)

This afternoon Katie and I played around on the internet in my room for ages, trying to look at flights for Christmas. We achieved success after several hours, and on Saturday we're going to buy our tickets at the airport. Only 14 weeks til I come home! :D Yaaay! I love Japan and everything, but I just can't wait to be back at home. And I need vegetables. Urgently. It's like being in America - nobody eats bloody vegetables!

This evening a group of us congregated in the kitchen nearest me, and sat around for four and a half hours discussing the most banal yet entertaining things. Andy (who is American, and at first seemed a little standoffish and scary, but is actually very funny and nice), convinced Elliot that it was ok to eat human flesh, and we all discussed the pros and cons of cannibalism. It was funneh. Fishman (also American) told a hilarious story about the first time he came to Japan, and they got him incredibly drunk and left him alone by a river, and he fell asleep on a bus. Some Japanese people had to carry him off it, and he threw up everywhere. ...Ok, that doesn't sound funny when you read it, but it was. Honestly!

There was much silliness. I ate some Piri something kanji FIRE something noodles, which were like super-hot Super Noodles. They were tasty. I also ate some chocolate and a bit of Elliot's giant apple. I also drank rather a lot of apple juice. Hopefully this counts as fibre?

Now I'm only going to get 7 hours sleep before tomorrow, so I'm going to go to bed. But not before mentioning Chris.

That is all. Ha ha haaaa!

(The answer to the subject line joke is - Ha~ay! But this is only funny if said in camp voice of greeting. Even then it's only a little funny. Hmm!)

chidori @ 2006-09-11T13:38:00

2006-09-11T13:09:19Z

Today, I have mostly been doing orienteering.

Orientation 1 was fun. In the morning, Group A (the best, naturally) sat in a classroom at the top of four flights of stairs (I HATE STAIRS) and sorted through a bunch of papers, including our computer passwords, so I can FINALLY go online in my bedroom, where I am now. I stole a wireless router from upstairs and plugged it in outside my door. Mwah ha.

Today was good. After this paper-ish fun, we had three hours to wander round. This naturally meant finding somewhere to sit down and eat. We picked the canteen that didn't have stairs. This was called JU. Ju indeed. NUFS is the most stunningly perfect campus I have ever seen. Ever. Everything is brand new and clean and shiny, and just fantastic in general. There are three enormous plasma TVs hanging off the ceiling in JU playing Japanese MTV. I already know where I will be having luch everyday. Then upstairs in a 'bakery' called Pasco, the ultra-shiny gym is next door, and the other buildings are only a few staircases away. One of the buildings has an AMAZING view across some very dense forest into the huge University 'opposite', which begins with 'A', and there are mountains on the horizon. Real mountains! You can also see the 'big wheel', which lights up at night (Elliot and I saw it in the dark from the airport bus).

NUFS. Is. So. Cool.

More horrifying news - I actually WANT to get my notes out and start revising. Aaaaghhh! Where is the real Ria!?

Made more Japanese friends too. Mamiko and Nami, who are both incredibly cool and adorable. They're only 18, which makes them excessively hyper, especially Mamiko. She really ought to be committed. Their English wasn't incredibly good, and my Japanese is hilarious, so we drew lots of pictures when neither of us knew what the other was talking about.

I bought a drink and sat down with them, and they started making cute Japanese noises and demanding to know why I'd bought this particular carton. The following dialogue was in Japlish, so I have made it English for ease of comprehension.

RIA: I like apples.

MAMIKO: It's not apples.

RIA: I like apple JUICE.

MAMIKO: It's not apple juice.

RIA: What the hell is it!?

MAMIKO: Jayree.

RIA: ...Jayree.

MAMIKO: Jayree.

RIA: What the hell is Jayree?

MAMIKO: [gets electronic dictionary out] Jayree!

RIA: ...Jelly?!

Who DRINKS jelly?! Why would they sell jelly as a drink? With a /straw/?! Somewhat disturbed, I memorised the work for jelly, and now have made mental notes concerning the purchase of suspect drinkables. I.e., don't buy them if it's jelly.

Then we all went to one of the computer rooms to change all of our passwords. The man leading this incredibly easy task was so funny... he said "I'm not a Japanese teacher, or an English teacher. I teach German!" And he spoke English with a German accent! It was so hilariously strange, whenever he spoke Elliot started laughing. And he kept throwing random German words into his explanations. It was the coolest thing.

I finished really quickly because a) it wasn't difficult, and b) everybody else thought it was. Tomohiro-san came and checked on me, and he said I was wonderful. :D Elliot is jealous. But then, he'll be the one laughing when class starts.

My bite is grim. Have I mentioned yet how much it has grown? Well it has, and it's deeply unpleasant. If we weren't going to the City tomorrow to register as Aliens, then I'd go to the (free) doctors and command to know what was wrong with me. Matt tried to cheer me up my showing me the deadly growth on his knee, but that only repulsed me.

Yes, Alien registration tomorrow. When our cards come through in about three weeks, I'll be able to buy a mobile phone, and do other fun things. Our student card is here, and it works like a debit card in all the campus shops. :D It's so cool, despite listing my birthday as '61. Hmm.

Fun fun fun! On Saturday, Elliot, Gucci-san and I are going to the airport. He needs to collect his suitcase, I need to change my flight dates, and Gucci needs to translate. Might owe her another present for that. I'm feeling quite tired this evening - it's nearly 10pm. I go sleep soon. I actually ate vegetables for dinner!

OOPS, I just remembered I've left part of my fridge sitting in the kitchen. It's what I thought was the vegetable tray, but all my vegetables FROZE on it, so I had to use them all with my old chicken. I'd better go and get that in a minute. I downloaded Skype today, but I still don't have a headset, so I can't actually talk to anyone yet.

My god, I just glanced at my arm. It looks bad.

I'm going to get my fridge, than I'm going to put a cold flannel on my diseased limb.

STORM in Japan

2006-09-10T06:28:51Z

Now, I don't want to scare anybody, but I'm going to UPDATE my livejournal.

I'm in Japan at the moment. It's terribly surreal, but incredibly cool at the same time. Since it has been, like, a whole year since I last wrote in here, I shall proceed to describe the events leading up to being in Japan.

Third year of University spent abroad - studying Japanese, therefore is spent in Japan. I choose Nagoya University of Foreign Studies and I got here on Wednesday 6th.

Well, that was succinct.

Not really sure where to begin describing everything... The flights were a little crazy. The security queue at Heathrow to get through to the gates was ridiculously long. Like, disgraceful. When I finally got on the plane (after emotional farewell to beloved parents), the pilot announces that we may have to wait for an hour to take off. T_T Luckily we didn't, since we were already an hour late.

The flight from Heathrow was to Dubai, and it took six hours. That was quite good, since once you've had lunch, you just watch three films, go to the toilet a couple of times and it's over. Dubai International was really busy, and incredibly shiny, but by this point I felt like crap and went and curled up in front of the gate and started crying.

The flight from Dubai to Nagoya was much better. There were about 25 people on the entire plane, so I had a whole row to myself, which I treated like a bed. The air hostesses were so sweet; they got me some paracetamol and were really friendly. I felt so much better once I'd slept, and it went really quickly for a nine hour flight.

I felt like such a tramp when I got off the plane in Japan - some guy and spilled his red wine on me on the first flight, and I'd eaten sushi in the air and I needed the toilet really badly. Dirty.

Then the first good thing happened - was standing in the gaijin line at passport control, and started talking to the equally traumatised-looking guy in front of me. His name is Elliot, and by some happy coincidence, he lives in the room above me here at the International House. So we stuck together at the airport, where we were picked up by an army of excitable Japanese girls (and one boy) who were all wearing bright green t-shirts and holding welcome banners.

Elliot and I could remember approximately no Japanese, but somehow we made it onto the airport bus (no Japanese people got on it with us!!!) and off at Fuguoaka bus station, which is a 10min taxi ride from Iwasaki-cho, where university is. I had to go in a taxi all alone beacuse my suitcases are so big, which was scary. Especially when he got LOST and started muttering angry Japanese words.

My solution was to say "Sumimasen?" which got a grunt, followed by "watashi wa chizu desu!" Yes, I am a map. Hmm. I gave him my map and we found the International House (IH). Thank GOD. I thought he was going to drive down some dark alley and murder me.

The three room assistants here at IH are lovely. Gucci-san is their 'leader', and Kayo and Chie are her minions. Kayo is my favourite, because her Japlish is FUNNEH. She also finds our portion sizes hilarious; Elliot, Katie and I were trying to cook pasta. Kayo sees the empty packet and goes "Uhhh!? Kore... Six people deshou!!" Six people my ass. Maybe six Japanese people, but I was hungry!

IH is the loveliest building. I'll (eventually) take photos, or draw one of my wonderful pictures, but it's really nice. It has a courtyard with tables and a tree in the middle, all surrounded by glass walls, and all the kitchens are open plan and we have our own private bathrooms and fridges and little balconies. Most of the IH residents are really nice; current favourites are Elliot, Katie, Nidi (UK), Lana, Rachel (AUS), Sarah, Ashley (US) and Nico (FRA). Most of the people at Proxy (filthy block of flats that smells like a sewer) down the road are nice too. Favourites so far; Natalie, Hiromi and Matt (Brookes), Marina and some others (AUS), Frederique, Damian (FRA) and some other people I can't rememeber right now. And Tomohiro-san, who is one of the Proxy RAs. He is funny - Gucci and Kayo told me to run up to him and say 'Tomohiro wa ahou!', 'kusai' and assorted other insults. Bless them.

I haven't actually eaten anything today, I just realised, and it's 3.30pm. I had a strawberry kakigouri from Kahma Home Center down the road, but that doesn't really count, and it made me feel a little bit ill. Someone is cooking right now, and it smells gooood.

Food is interestingly priced here. Fruit and veg are ridiculously expensive (I paid 50p for one carrot), and strangely oversized. There are giant apples and plums and peaches the size of bowling balls.

I'm going to go now, and look at the storm. We can hear the thunder from here, and I want to go and look at it. Lana is coming too.

Bye for now!!

LOVE LOVE LOVE from Ria.

xxxxxxx

Blah blah blah

2005-10-25T15:12:17Z

Three hour long lectures should be abolished as of NOW.

Take my three hour fun fest this morning. I sat in there for the first forty minutes, which passed largely without incident, until I suddenly became incredibly tired, and it became necessary to put my coat on with the hood up and slump over the desk with my eyes shut. This led to a somewhat comatose state of being, in which I slept soundly for ten minutes, before waking up to hear Dinosaur Man talking about hospitals.

Nida, who was sitting next to me, had her eyes open, but was definitely asleep too. I don't know what it is about the Government and Politics of the USA that is so deeply boring that just discussing it makes me want to die, but it's there.

So when we got given a break at about 2.10pm, Nida and I packed our bags and escaped whilst Dinosaur Man was distracted. I walked to the very bottom of the library and hid in a study carrel, where you can sleep without interruption for several hours. Unless of course Karlie texts you and the noise from your phone in the otherwise deathly silence makes you WEE in terror.

Went to the Student Union and got my new NUS card. It is green. And for some unknown reason, they cut the photos so small that the only thing you can see is my inflated face (and by face I mean my eyes, nose and a small amount of forehead). Vaguely annoying.

What else.

Hmmm.

Halloween Parteh! Because Mary is a malnourished wench00r, she is trying to wriggle out of coming, with her stupid "I have a 9am lecture" ruse. So? I have a 9am lecture the next day. I'm just not going to it.

There are still 10 minutes left of the lecture I should be in. And another hour before my next one starts. Karlie has gone to Maxwell's to beg for a job and abandoned me.

B O R E D.

This morning while I was driving in, I realised my door was open. This isn't good thing to realise whilst you're speeding on the motorway. I had to pull over onto the hard shoulder, but once I was on that, I had to brake really hard to avoid running into a huge piece of plastic that was just lying there.

Which meant I had to get out of the car.

Whilst doing so, my shoe fell off.

How the hell do you get your shoe back off the motorway without dying horribly in the process? Luckily it rolled into my back wheel, so I got it back on and went and threw the offending piece of plastic into the ditch. The sheep were watching me. Got back in the car and eventually got to the Park and Ride without dying.

The Park and Ride was full. Accept for one space that wasn't reeeally a space, but the man said I could park there and I wasn't gonna say no. Sigh.

Parents and the Faris went to the caravan on Saturday because it's half term. Because dad is going to Milan today, they had to come back, but are disappearing again on Thursday. I get the distinct impression that none of them want to go back. I don't blame them. I have never been to this caravan, but the idea of it is in general unappealing.

I'm really thirsty. What I'd really like is a mint chocolate chip frappuccino from Starbucks. It is tradition to steal a mug from Starbucks whenever you go. Well, I say tradition, but I've only stolen two so far. Trouble is, once you've stolen one from somewhere, you have to remember not to go there again. Which isn't usually a problem, since there are about 95 of them in Oxford.

OMG I am so thirsty.

Hasn't this been a fascinating update? Maybe I'll do another one within the next month. :P

Life, the Universe and Ria

2005-07-30T10:56:31Z

Greetings my absent friends.

Since I am sitting behind a computer for the first time in months, I thought I might make the effort to update my poor neglected livejournal. (For those of you who have forgotten I exist, my name is Ria, and you love me. You also want to send me all of your money.)

Here is an exciting recap of the last few months. -_-

May

- Turned 19.
- Finished first year at University.
- Quit Sainsbury's, went back to Waitrose the following week.

June

- Work 50 hour weeks at Waitrose. Did absolutely NOTHING else.
- Tunnel collapsed in Gerrard's Cross. Was funny, because now they can't build their stupid Tesco there. Is less funny, because now cannot get train to London without driving to Denham or Amersham.

July

- Dad got new job, where they pay him stupid amounts of money just to fly around the world criticising how other people build buildings. He is going to Milan next week, then straight to Istanbul (which he thinks is in Greece).

- (This is the best bit.) Got GIVEN new car by parents. Is SEXY new black Mini, with silver and black Union Jack on top and two fat silver stripes on the bonnet. Technically is to share with sisters, but since neither of them can drive, is effectively MINE. It is actually the sexiest car EVER. Photos will follow. :D

- Got sick this week, which badly cut into Mini posing time. Going to work in an hour. Am trying to download music from iTunes, which is possibly the slowest process known to man.

And that's about everything. I have done literally nothing this entire holiday, except work. Wait, that's a lie. I did go to the cinema. Once. I hope everyone else is having a nice holiday. ^_^ Will update properly in another three months.

Now am going to stare out of window at car. :D

Party Political Broadcast

2005-05-06T00:56:49Z

Here is a message on behalf of chidori and floria_del_guiz relating to the General Election. It made them feel better.

Broadcast over. We hope you have not voted Labour.

All the leaves are brown, and the skies are grey

2005-05-04T16:49:31Z

Gold medal in the Snwod Olympics this week goes to Sainsbury's. Because I am lame and unoriginal, I am going to summarise my day in Haikus, a la Rachel:

Today when I went
to Kidlington Sainsbury's
they told me to go

So apparently
the Hell Troll is a retard
and didn't tell me

that actually
I don't work there anymore
I drove home distressed

I have spent my day
yelling snwod at everyone
and going shopping.

My back is in pain
and I have two essays due
and now no income

so my mood is poor
and I'm going to lie down.
Wake me up and die.

Hmm, am distracted by the 'radio' option on iTunes. Been listening to Japan-A-Radio (bad theme tunes from a station in Orlando), 8BallRadio, Dainbramage and Indie Pop Rocks! (that exclamation mark has nothing to do with me). Shitty radio. Beginning to piss me off.

I must be fantastically irritable this afternoon, because the constant hammering on Flat Bitch's door by my window is DRIVING ME SLOWLY INSANE. Loud retards crashing round making incoherent baboon noises at eachother. How anyone can reach adulthood and still sound like uneducated twelve-year-olds after sniffing glue when they open their mouths perplexes me. What the bloody hell do they think they sound like?!

Uggghhh!

If one more person knocks on that door I am going to climb out my window and KILL THEM ALL

WHY, why, why...

2005-05-03T21:50:46Z

Tonight, I mourn.

Obviously my fiancé-to-be is too devasted to comment, despite putting on his 'I'm so sexy, how could I care?' face. Our grief runs deep, like a scar across our souls.

Chelsea lost to Liverpool in the UEFA Cup semi-finals tonight. There are no words with which I can vocalise my distress. Even hurling abuse in high-pitched voices at all the players gave me no comfort. Perhaps most alarming was the fact that Rachel came to watch the game too - and by the end was actually paying attention - that is how monumentally crushing Chelsea losing is.

To avoid angering Karlie, I shall keep my "DIE, LIVERPOOL" rant to myself.

*die, Liverpool*

Magdalen Bridge is on the news again. "More than fifty people were hurt" this year. Ha ha ha ha! I would have been there throwing babies into the glass-strewn riverbed, but I was at home with my head in the toilet vomitting several gallons of brown filth all over the bathroom. :P It was gross and deeply distressing. The Faris's sympathetic remark? "Nooo! You're wearing my hairband!"

Oxford traditions are COOL. Less traditional, but still quite cool, were all the people lying in the road in red t-shirts today to try and stop AIDS. Perhaps just as an awareness-raising activity, since lying on the road hasn't yet been prooved to prevent venerial diseases.

Ugh, I can't make this update happy.

My evening is overshadowed by abject despair.

On the otherhand, it's my last day at work tomorrow, and it's my birthday on Friday, so things will probably start to look up on Thursday morning.

"We spent £63 on bloody cheese."

2005-04-29T23:05:22Z

Somehow managed to complete an entire semester's worth of work for the Authorship Module from Hell today, inside of three hours.

This comprised of writing the first chapter of an 80,000 word Crime Thriller Novel (my infamous piece of art about a man who runs round 2035's London massacring people with a shotgun), a Book Aquisition Pitch (whatever the hell that is), a proposal letter to a publishing house and a couple of synopses.

UGH.

I should really wash my hair now. On this afternoon's Resident Evil Mansion sweep, Karlie thought it would be funny to massage fistfuls of dead grass into my hair. T_T All the way back to the flat I was shedding clumps of weed. The area surrounding my computer chair looks like the carpet under a moulting Christmas tree.

...I am distracted by The Dears, who are performing possibly the most awful song I have ever heard on television. Jonathan Ross: "Wow(!)"

I've been left all by myself this evening. Maria and Daniel have gone home, Pietro's gone to London for the weekend to have sex with his brother, and even the Irish Hellbeast has snwodded off somewhere. Perhaps I will use this rare opportunity to tidy the FILTHY kitchen.

Or not.

I might go and see if Maria has left any food for me to eat in the fridge.

This is why I hate vegetarians! All my inconsiderate snwodmates have left in the flat is vegetables. >:| Probably deliberately because they aren't here to monitor my eating. I mourn the lack of microwavable foodstuffs! I crave MEAT. Not carrot or brocolli. Not even ~~eyeballs~~kiwi fruits!

I have three frozen chips left. I have put the oven on.

Zombie Quest, Brookes Buses and love

2005-04-27T22:56:02Z

Today wasn't a bad Wednesday.

It was the first one without Yorkshire Chris, which was quite sad. : ( But Michael was a lot friendlier than usual - we spent the last hour talking about cars and how to break into them, including which bits were worth the most to steal and sell. Ryan and I played The String Game again (where you get a bit of string and arrange it in a shape which the other person has to guess. Like Pictionary. With string), Phil and I argued about how long the counter was, and the day was generally peaceful due to lack of Hell Troll.

My Kidlington bus pulled up at the bus stop right behind the U1 this evening, just as Maria and Daniel got off it, which was quite freaky timing. Nobody else seemed to find it particularly spooky though. But I did. -_-

In other news, ZOMBIE QUEST.

On Friday morning in Japanese Society lecture, I shall be making a list of everyone who wants to come and celebrate my birthday at the Resident Evil Mansion with a game of Zombie Quest. Anybody in Oxford on Thursday 5th May is welcome to join in. >:D

In more other news, the Brookes Bus Appreciation Society (i.e. me) has named its first excursion: U1 from Gipsy Lane to Harcourt Hill, and U5 from Harcourt Hill all the way to Wheatley. WITHOUT GETTING OFF. Except to change, obviously. We shall eat picnic food, sing songs of love and cherish the Brookes buses whilst they're still free.

Obviously this will be phenomenally FUN and you will all want to come with me.

I know there is something to hand in for Authorship module tomorrow. I wouldn't know what, naturally, but I'm fairly confident no one else does either, so I shan't let it bother me. I think I'll just go shopping in the morning instead...

Things of Note

2005-04-25T16:48:44Z

"Oh goody!" came the cries from Ria's friends list as yet another update appeared in her journal. "What wonderful things does our dear, precious Ria deign to bless us with the knowledge of now?"

Firstly, Ria commands that all and sundry (well, anyone who can vote) go and do this quiz, which is incredibly quick and actually quite clever.

Secondly, Ria has decided what to have on the back of her Morrell Hall hoody - 'RIA'. And the number '4'. :P

Thirdly, Ria has made another of her thrilling Things of Note entries. She invites others to remind her of things she has missed, but knows that in her magnificance, there will not be many errors.

~~Sunday 24th: Kaiser Chiefs~~
~~Monday 25th: Japanese Oral~~
~~Tuesday 26th: Kanji & Listening Test~~
~~Wednesday 27th: Work~~
~~Thursday 28th: Went home, pm~~
~~Friday 29th: Creative Writing chapter due in.~~
~~Saturday 30th: Penultimate Day of Work!~~

~~Sunday 1st: Maria's birthday.~~
~~Monday 2nd: ...?~~
~~Tuesday 3rd: ...?~~
Wednesday 4th: Last day at Sainsbury's EVAH.
Thursday 5th: ZOMBIE HUNTING
Friday 6th: My birthday.
Saturday 7th: Home party.
Sunday 8th: ...? *
Monday 9th: ...?
Tuesday 10th: BEACONSFIELD FAIR.**
Wednesday 11th: Recovery.

Then Ria believes she has some tiresome exams which she doesn't much fancy sitting, but will probably end up doing anyway.

*Possibly visiting Mary?
**Anybody who wants to come and experience the JOY that is Beaconsfield Fair, come let Ria know. :D

Aggghhhh

2005-04-25T11:42:15Z

I have FEAR.

I don't want to go to my Oral. ;_; Last time I did a Japanese oral, I instantly forgot every single word I knew, and had to keep saying things like "okay" in a Japanese accent to try and pad out the conversation.

I have decided that I am going to do the Taxi role play. If I can't do the Taxi one, then I'm going to be sick everywhere and ask to do it later, because I certainly can't do any of the other ones.

Uggghhh

In other news - The Adventures of

Chris turned up in my flat at about 4pm, and we spent two hours writing five sentences in Japanese, before wandering off to the far beautifier Cheney Student Villiage, which looks like some sort of hotel holiday resort, as opposed to Morrell Hall (where we live) which looks like a thirty year old plague of dirty two-storey sheds.

We visited Karlie, who gave us banana Pocky, then ran around Cheney like idiots screaming "SNWOD" into people's intercoms. It was funneh. Then we walked over the Magical Bridge and visited the Magical Place, which is where the Resident Evil Mansion is. Chris and I fed the ducks Pocky, which they seemed to like.

Anyway, we eventually ended up in Morals bar, where we drank until Kevin, Emily and Amy came, followed by Graham, then Maria and Daniel (who I was very pleased to see). Then Amy, Emily and I went to see if the ducks were there, and we ended up trying to break into the Resident Evil mansion. It was fun. :D

We dropped Amy off in Cheney and checked on Karlie again, who STILL hadn't started her Japanese Society essay (which is now three days late). She wouldn't let us in, so we went to spy on the Kaiser Chiefs, who were about thirty metres away in the Student Union.

I nearly WET myself it was so cool. We stood by the tour bus, and there were two black Range Rovers, another big black car, and a shiny Porsche, all parked by the back entrance to the SU. Walked past four times trying to look inconspicuous (Emily wouldn't go up to them with me :P) and we're CERTAIN we either saw Ricky and Nick, or two guys from one of the support bands.

It was TOO EXCITING.

After spying on the Kaiser Chiefs, we went back to Morals, where in a very short space of time, Kevin (who is Emily's boyfriend) had become very, very drunk. Chris made him go to the bar to get a pen. He fell over. >:D Came back to flat and watched Billy Elliot.

Then couldn't sleep, so I re-read some random stories on Fubar-chan, until suddenly it was 3.30am, and I thought I should make some sort of effort to sleep before oral today.

Which is in 45 minutes.

*sobs*

EDIT:

ORAL IS OVER!! And it went considerably better than I thought it would. ^_^ Relief! Now I hungry.

chidori @ 2005-04-24T16:21:00

2005-04-24T16:08:46Z

Yesterday qualifies as the strangest day at Sainsbury's thus far.

Had to clock in late because buses in Oxford seem incapable of running in the rain, and when I got there, there were signs up in the changing rooms saying "NO WATER - DON'T USE THE TOILETS".

So I wandered downstairs, where Jenny hands me a packet of antibacterial wipes and says "We can't use the taps... wash your hands with these!".

Okay, how strange. About ten minutes later, the Duty Manager runs over to the counter and says "You're going to have to shut the counter!". Jenny waves the antibacterial wipes at him too. "But we have wipes!"

Moments later, there is a tannoy announcement. "Due to problems with our water, we have been forced to shut our Delicatessen, Salad Bar and Meat and Fish counters." Customers seem to think this means "Quick! Run to the counters now before it's too late!" I suggest beating them back with spades, but Jenny is unimpressed. Instead, we covered everything up and sent them away.

Suddenly, there were about thirteen people with nothing to do. The Duty Manager ran back over and told us to go and help on Provisions, which we found insulting, because counter staff are Band 2, and obviously too well-qualified to help lowly Band 1 shelf-stackers.

Emma (who was so incredibly hyper it made me look sedate) and I managed to hide in the warehouse doing NO work whatsoever for about 45 minutes, before somebody gave us a cage and told us to get on with it. :P So we went and stacked vegetable samosas together for a while, then had a large pile of crates to put outside.

Outside was FUN. The Sainsbury's lorry had just arrived, so whilst the driver was inside the warehouse taking the load out, Emma and I tried to climb into the cab. Sadly it was locked, so we went and sat on the other side of the giant skip with our crates, wondering if anyone would notice if we stayed there all day.

Then we SCREAMED when Ryan appeared suddenly on the other side of the skip. Ryan refused to sit with us and do nothing, because he is more afraid of the Hell Troll than I am and thought we'd be...

KURISU-SAN STEALS THE LAPTOP!!!

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA FUBAR LAPTOP! LAPToP IS FUBAR!!!!
WE REVISE JAPANESE NOW COS IT'S A HO!
SHINBUN WO YOMIMASU!!!!!

I AM NOT GAY!

"They have the Ainu, you have the Celts."

2005-04-22T12:20:48Z

Mreow!!

Went to 9am Japanese Society lecture for the second week running. Chris did his 'poke Ria in case you're hallucinating' poking again. Ha haaa haaaa! That will cease to be neccessary sooon, my friend!

Sat next to Emily, who insists on sitting on the Evil Hard Bench right at the top of the room, which is incredibly hard and narrow. I hate that bench. This week Chris decided to grace us with his presence too, and for some reason a bunch of other people did too. Including Graham, when he randomly appeared some time after the lecture had started.

Handed Big Essay in during the 'break', and took the opportunity to escape. There was no sign of Karlie when I left, so don't know what happened there yet. o_o

Then I came home and washed my hair, which I would have done this morning had I not had Stupid Mitch to attend to. Then Maria MSNed me from three metres across the landing to ask if I wanted cake. Of COURSE I wanted cake.

What else can I make pink and hyperlinky?

Mum is at a conference in Blenheim Palace today, so she's bunking off the afternoon session to come and have lunch with Snwod Head and I. Hurrah for lunch! :D

Tomorrow is my second-to-last Saturday at Sainsbury's. Thank god. ;_; The only people I will miss are Ryan, Chris, Emma and Jenny. And possibly some of the other old women. And Keith! But that's it. I sure as hell won't miss Creepy Nigerian Guy, Stunted Ian or "I shagged some birds" Phil. And I will never EVER regret not seeing the Helen Palmer Hell Troll again in my life.

Rachel came back from Germany yesterday afternoon, so, being the amazing and generous sister I am, I cooked her dinner. We had chicken and pasta, then watched the last two episodes of Father Ted. I really, really love Father Ted.

Run out of hyperlinks now. Here is my favourite Bodger & Badger come to Playground photo. >:D

Popey wopey

2005-04-19T20:08:21Z

Happy Birthday caylithe! <3

Huge love and hugs and kisses to my favourite pile of nightsoil. ^_^

Meanwhile!

Benedict XVI. Hurrah, why not?

All of this Popeness has made me want to learn Italian. Mamma Mia! Giovanni Paolo Secondi. Dolcelatte. Desidero il cioccolato!

Man on telly = BUUUH!! With regards to permitting the use of contraception re: Aids; "The new Pope is clever enough to distinguish between the use of condoms to prevent the creation of life and their use in the prevention of death".

...WTF!? As far as the Catholic Church is concerned, you don't have sex unless you're married and happy to get pregnant. So if people are happily married and want to get pregant, then they're not going to be using condoms, are they? In what possible circumstance could a real hardcore Catholic have any use for a condom?

"If they have Aids," says the man on the telly. Ria says "BUUUH!!!" again. If you've got Aids and you're an orthodox Catholic, you don't have sex! Campaigning for the Pope to permit contraception on the grounds that millions of people are dying just because they want to have sex is utterly senseless. Either you pick a different religion, or you bloody well stop having sex!

It's like me saying "I am Jewish. But I like to go out on Fridays to worship Jesus and eat pork chops." Okay, so its a little crude, but still. You can't tell the leader of a religion that he has to change one of its most basic and fundmental rules because people aren't obeying it. Have these people never seen Super Nanny?! You need to find a way to enforce the rules, not change them just to make it easier, otherwise you'll just end up with another watered-down has-been of a belief system. Like the Church of England. :P "Hey, join us! We have no rules!"

I can't quite put my finger on the point of this argument. I know its there, but I am being distracted by Welsh people on 'Property Ladder'.

Anyway, buona fortuna, Pope-chan.

Kanji test this afternoon sucked c--k. New kanji difficult. I spent SIX HOURS in the Library today, wandering round and round in circles, hiding in my carrell of doom, and looking for books with reference numbers that didn't exist. Stupid Jap Soc essay. Have chosen Joy Hendry book. Possibly good, possibly bloody stupid. Chris chose one too, so maybe more of the latter. :P Chris in bad books for today's comment "I just forgot your name. So I had to call you 'woman'!".

drumroll

2005-04-18T17:15:12Z

This is a public broadcast from the RIA Party.

Today, I am NOT in my overdraft.

Yes, good people of The Friends List, I have plus £40. With no accomodation fees to pay until April 30th, I have two weeks of solvency to revel in. I shall cherish each one of my four thousand pennies, possibly by endevouring not to spend any of them. Revel revel, cherish cherish. ^_^

This concludes today's RIA Party Newsflash.

chidori @ 2005-04-18T10:34:00

2005-04-18T09:44:23Z

Don't really have anything to update about. Updating anyway.

Listening to Sugarcult CD that Emma lent me. I had to take part in a sacred ceremony of trust and exchange some of my blood for it, since apparently it is her most treasured possession. They're... okay. Sort of like McFly and Blink 182 got together and made a Green Day tribute band.

My phone woke me up about an hour ago and said 'witheld number'. Did a Maria and ignored it. Also on phone was a message from Rachel that read "I thought you'd like this headline: Pete Doherty was a £20 rent boy". Bwah ha ha, she was right.

Now I shall recount the most revolting experience of University life so far.

Not being a huge fan of washing up, three of my bowls have been in a dirty stack behind my television for at least two weeks with a plate and mug on top of them. Obviously being hidden, they weren't really bothering me. It wasn't til I came back to the flat yesterday evening and Mum saw my little pile of presents that I thought I really ought to move them.

So I lifted off the plate to stack them better and OMGWTF!??!1111 The most disgusting thing I've ever seen is growing in the top bowl. It is what I can only assume used to be tuna salad. At first glance it looked like a RAT - huge and brown and furry - and I mean huge. Then I began to regret not waiting til I was out of my room to unleash it on the world.

The smell was more than unbearable. It was excruciatingly VILE. Much, much worse than the brie rinds. Probably as bad as a decomposing body. I had to open my window, spray everything in sight with Febreze and prop my door open with a shoe. Hid in the kitchen with Maria for at least an hour until it went away. ;_; I took the offending mould nest bowl outside on the little patio and scraped the filth out with a Sainsbury's bag, and now everything is in a neat pile by the drainpipe til I decide what to do with it.

Meanwhile, I want to go and see 'The Amityville Horror' tonight.

Meeeeeh!!! It's the Kaiser Chiefs on Sunday! T_T I am going to sit on a bucket outside the SU with their cake. My logic is if I give them cake, they will want to return the favour and let me in for free. :D Flawless plan of genius.

"You look like a spastic starfish."

2005-04-15T19:11:08Z

Billy Elliot: The Musical is officially the best performance of any description that I have ever seen in my life. Ever.

It was just so good, I don't even know where to start. The dancing, the songs, their voices, the set... Our Billy (James Lomas) has to be the most exceptionally talented child on this planet - his dancing was so good it almost wasn't real - and he barely ever left the stage, he sang beautifully, his timing was flawless, he kissed Michael *much* better than Jamie Bell did... And he was only 14. Fourteen years old!!

People were clapping so much after some of the scenes that whoever had the first line after a dance had to yell it about three times before anyone would shut up. Mum cried twice, and even Dad enjoyed it.

I think it was only their fifth performance or something, and afterwards they handed out free DVDs of the film with little "thank you for your early support" postcards in. We had really good seats in the stalls next to the runway, and at one point the men in front of us got up and ran out, so the view got even better (Victoria Palace = tiering not of a particularly effective gradient). :D

My favourite two scenes were Billy and Future!Billy doing the "I'm in love with Future!me" 'Swan Lake' dance, and Billy and Micheal doing the "It's not weird to wear womens' clothes" song with the Giant Dancing Dresses. ^__^

Now I am going to do a little string of hearts. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Ahhh! Billy, Billy, Bill3h.

We all went home hyper, and this morning I got up and 7am and drove back to Oxford in plenty of time for my 9am Japanese Society lecture. Ria, Queen of the M40. Chris had to come and poke my arm because he thought he was hallucinating me. :P Sat next to Emily and drew her some nice pictures.

We learned about Shinto, Buddhism, Taoism and where to go to get your car blessed. Joy Hendry was showing us slides she'd taken in an aborted baby soul worshipping burial ground, and she left the mass memorial site slide up for about 15 minutes, which was creepy. o_O

When Mitch the Stupid American came back and asked if we'd enjoyed it, Ed said "We spent half an hour looking at her bloody holiday photos" really loudly. *rolls eyes*

Mitch deserves the suffix 'Stupid' this week thanks to the following hilarious debate with the Japanese:

MITCH: Hey, people doing Japanese - who knows the two ways of saying the number 7?

ED: Shichi and nana.

MITCH: Right. Now, in Japan, barely anyone says 'shichi'. Because 'shi' means DEATH and 'chi' means BLOOD. So it's a really evil number, with some dark connotations. Am I right? Japanese people, am I right?

JAPANESE GIRL 1: In Tokyo we say 'shichi'.

MITCH: ...Uh huh. So it's a regional thing - any Osakans?

JAPANESE GIRL 2: No, I say shichi.

MITCH: ...Yeah, so like I said, it's a regional thing.

Who's hair is it anyway?

2005-04-14T10:24:51Z

Disturbing dream.

Ria is invited to some sort of Hollywood-esque massive awards ceremony. The first thing she finds upon arriving, is that all the celebrities are in the gift shop. Tom Cruise is shaking hands with everybody, but I can't get to him because I have a shopping list that I'm trying to get through before the awards start.

Kate Winslet was just charging round the shop grabbing one of everything, including a dark blue scarf from the rack I was standing next to. I was going to say something nice to her, but she looked sort of huge. In fact, all of the famous people looked huge. It was like their fame made them a few inches taller than everyone else.

So I had a handful of things at the small checkout, which was manned inexplicably by Rachel Hunter. I knew I was supposed to be buying some make-up for her, so I hid the bag under the desk. I remembered I was in my overdraft, so I thought I should only buy the crisps and Rockies, because who's going to be checking reciepts at the door of the gift shop? No one! So I wandered out without paying for most of Rachel Hunter's stuff, which I then promptly left behind somewhere with my coat.

Out of the gift shop was a massive theatre hall. Sort of like the Royal Albert Hall on steriods. I was in one of the acts in between the awards as somebody who's name I forget, that was born in 1793. The host played some 90s dance music and I had to tell her which year it was from. I remember saying "Well, I am two hundred years old, so...". Later I won a prize for my impersonation, although I still have no idea who she was.

When I sat down in the audience again, I was sitting next to Ethan Hawke. Now that is totally random. I don't have a thing for Ethan Hawke. I don't even have a gay conspiracy for him. Nonetheless, who the hell would complain if you were sitting next to him and he started talking to you? He was kooky - he found this long hair that belonged to the woman sitting on the other side of him, and was trying to show me, but I thought he was just trying to hold my hand. Was quite disgusted to unclench it to find a hair there. I really don't like disembodied hair.

When the bizarre awards ceremony finished, I went back to the building I thought I'd left my coat in. It looked like a tall version of Gibbs from the outside, but inside was almost identical to the Tower Block at school. So in I went, right to the top, and Emma from Sainsbury's was sitting in there with Kate Moss and some other intimidating women.

I walked in and Emma said something that really made me angry, so I hit her around the face repeatedly with my shoe, and then stormed out. I ran all the way to the bottom of the Tower Block and hid in the toilets, in case they sent the security guards after me.

Then I woke up, vaguely distressed and very hungry.

I am going to get dressed and go home, because I've parked in a disabled space, and that's not very nice. We're going to see Billy Elliot tonight, hurrah. <3 I need to go and buy Mum and Dad an anniversary card too, and possibly think of a very nice, very last minute, present for them.

Miaow, off I go.

As for loneliness, she greets me in the morning

2005-04-11T11:26:04Z

Saturday:

The Faris's 17th birthday. :D

Because my manager is a Satan Troll, she wouldn't let me have the day off, so Family collected Rachel from Uni first, then drove to Kidlington to meet me at Sainsbury's when I finished at 9pm. It wasn't actually a bad day, as days at work go. It wasn't particulary busy in the store, possibly thanks to Wedding and Grand National, so the Satan Troll knobbed off early, and left us to our own devices.

Some new girl had started who was friends with Emma, which saved me the 'getting-to-know-you' process and allowed me to go straight into screeching at her and throwing water/cheese/olives at her. She was fairly gormless and looked a bit like Lucy (Mother Snwod).

Then Ryan got made to tidy up the rotten vegetables in the warehouse. Just DON'T buy food from Sainsbury's. Ever. Believe me, I know where it's been. XP So I followed him out there and we had a vegetable fight, during which he nearly broke my foot with a swede and I hit him on the arse with a mouldy grapefruit.

Keith and I shut down the Deli and then The Faris came charging into the shop wearing a hot pink feather boa and an assortment of other birthday-present pink clothes. She was quite well-behaved, despite convincing Ryan we were twins. >:|

We drove home listening to The Killers, who The Faris is trying to conince our parents to love. Mum thought Brandon Flowers sounded like David Bowie, and Dad thought 'All These Things That I've Done' was about soldering.

Then we ate cake and I gave her my presents, and Rachel gave her CSI: The Game, which they have been playing pretty much constantly ever since.

The Faris's coolest present by FAR were the speakers Mum and Dad got her for her iPod. >:O I might have to do some Ria Art later to demonstrate their prettiness. They look sort of like little piles of snow with green lights underneath them and little silver knobs for adjusting the bass and treble. I jealous.

Sunday

Many things were done, culminating in the consumption of a Belated Birthday Meal at the Saracen's Head, which they have painted YELLOW. It is a large Tudor building, in a row of large Tudor buildings, which all have WHITE walls and BLACK beams. Quite why they decided to go with yellow, we shall never know.

Anyway, the meal was yummeh, and pudding was HILARIOUS:

WAITRESS: Are you ready to order dessert?

DAD: May I have the Horn of Plenty?

WAITRESS: Of course.

DAD: But can they make it without the berries?

WAITRESS: So... you just want ice cream?

DAD: Can I have it with chocolate sauce?

XD Dad has a habit of making his own meals up. Last time we ate out, Dad had a mixed grill - "And instead of the tomato, may I have another sausage?"

Ahhh, the joy of family meals. Then we went home and watched Dog Soldiers and everyone went to bed happy. Except Gran, who was traumatised by the film, and had to be apologised to for being subjected to such a "scary" choice. XD

Monday:

When I woke up, Rachel and Faris were already playing CSI, and after prising Rachel away from the computer, I drove us back to Uni. The whole drive into Oxford was just fine, the motorway was clear, the A40 was fine, even the Headington roundabout wasn't busy.

But the hill outside Uni? OMGWTF is going on!? Apparently there are roadworks right at the bottom, but I didn't see anything for the CONSTANT unmoving traffic jam we were stuck in, two minutes from the flat. T_T Rachel seemed happy enough; she kept picking annoying anime songs and turning the volume up (if you heard Sora Mimi Cake in Oxford this morning, that was us).

Eventually, encouraged by others, I drove down the wrong side of the hill and managed to turn right relatively easily at the bottom.

Which pretty much brings us to now. I am about to get ready for Japanese, then it's back home again for more fun and games. ^_^